Hanging Out The Window
by Chya
Summary: With a boy from River's academy on board, sanity takes a jump out the window. Oh wait, no, that would be Jayne...


Notes: Thank you and to JillyW for the beta. All remaining mistakes are mine.  
  
*****  
  
Hanging out the Window  
  
by Chya  
  
Jayne yelled as the ground slammed towards him, yelled again as the cord snapped tight, the harness digging suddenly and cruelly through scant protection into muscled flesh. Barely had he got his breath before Serenity started moving, and the harness straps sawed mercilessly through his pants and tee. Up above the cargo hatch closed, the cord trapped between the powerful doors, and Mal Reynolds shouted something he couldn't hear as the thick metal closed between them.  
  
The big mercenary blinked against the wind and, looking around him, saw nothing he could use to help himself other than the cord from which he was being dragged. He slowly pushed Vera over his back, her weight a hindrance in the cutting bite of rushing air. Managed to lift a leg up to grab Binky and re-house the big knife in his waistband. Because if those on Serenity thought they'd kill him by keel hauling him up into space or somewhere worse, they'd be disappointed. He'd cut the line and fall to his death first. Might be equally as dead, but it'd be quick, hard and relatively painless.  
  
He wasn't even really scared of the dying part. True, it'd seriously piss him off, but Kay-Sara-Sara and all that. It was messy deaths he didn't like, part of the reason he didn't like Reavers. Too much pain involved, and pain without reward was pretty damned scary.  
  
His other hand felt its way to Boo holstered at his side, reassuringly close, and he swore to shoot off the head of anyone that made the mistake of rubber-necking. Arching back with shout of pain, he grabbed the cord attached to the harness between his shoulder blades and running up behind his head, used every ounce of muscle he had to pull himself up against the wind, something the Serenity's progress seemed determined to stop. She wasn't going fast by her standards, going pretty slow in fact, but it was enough that he had to fight for every inch he gained, wishing fervently that he had his hat and goggles as his eyes teared under the pressure of the air. And jacket. It was ruttin' cold out here, and the wind wasn't helping none.  
  
He cursed with every breath long and hard in both English and Chinese and a few variations he didn't remember picking up. He cursed Mal the most, had trusted him to kill him fair and square, throw him out the airlock, cut him loose or shoot him in the face, but not like this.  
  
It did cross his mind very briefly to wonder why he'd been left hanging, why, after he'd sprayed the bad guys with Vera, harnessed and braced off the edge of the cargo hold, the line had gone slack instead of taut, sending him plummeting down instead of hauling him back in. But he shrugged that question off. He couldn't think of anything he might've done recently that would have made Mal or anyone else on the crew mad at him but, then again, in his world there didn't need to be a reason. He simply cursed his own stupidity in trusting where trust had no place.  
  
What did bother him was the fact that he'd trusted Kaylee, Zoë and Mal to haul him back in. Somewhere along the way he'd forgotten that mistrust had kept him alive more times than he could count. He swore blind he wouldn't make that mistake again and, while Serenity was flying slow and low, he fully intended to try and make it clear to those who sailed in her that you didn't mess with Jayne Cobb if you wanted to stay living.  
  
*****  
  
Mal winced in sympathy as Zoë's gun butt cracked into the side of Wash's face, sending the pilot crashing to the floor, stunned. "Now you've done it," Mal snorted at the boy standing to one side.  
  
"Poetic justice, I rather thought," Jericho smirked, "having the caged warrior woman beat her bumbling captor up."  
  
Mal cocked his head and squinted slightly at Zoë. "Caged?" His eyebrows tried hard to crawl up into his hair, before he shook himself. "No, I meant, uh," he waved his arms around. "Serenity needs a pilot, you know, to pilot her places?" He pointed at the chair. "That would be the pilot's seat." Pointed at the console. "That would be the pilot's joystick." Indicated the room in general. "This would be the pilot's cockpit." Frowned with a disturbed realisation, ".all of which explain Zoë and Wash if you think about it." Pointed to the groaning man on the floor. "And that." Stabbed his finger down, "would be the Pilot. Our only pilot."  
  
"You can pilot it," Jericho told him imperiously.  
  
Mal smiled without humour. The kid spoke in riddles, and had less than no idea about reality. Made River seem completely sane and normal. "I can try, but I'm telling you now, I have no idea how to get her out of first gear." The kid stared blankly. "Go faster. No idea."  
  
"No need," Jericho said. "We have all the time in all the world to get there."  
  
"Get where?" Mal asked as he worked himself into the seat, removing a stray T-Rex whose teeth had designs on his ass.  
  
"To the end, of course."  
  
"The end of what?" Mal snapped, grabbing the joy and preparing to demonstrate how much he didn't know about flying. "Our lives? Or this ridiculous situation? Or would that be the same thing?"  
  
Jericho snorted impatiently. "The end," he said as if to a particularly dense person, and for a brief flash, Mal wondered if this was what Jayne felt like when he didn't understand what was being discussed. No wonder the big lug was so darned tetchy all the time.  
  
Mal wondered briefly if Jayne were still alive, kinda hoped he was, but then again he wasn't entirely certain he'd survive an encounter with a seriously pissed off Jayne, in which case it'd be better for his own well being if he didn't. In any case, he couldn't worry about it now, only try and give them all any advantage that might be out there.  
  
"You're tired," Jericho told Zoë. "You're husband's very sick. You should both go to bed and you should look after him until I call you."  
  
"You're right," Zoë's blank face was replaced with a yawn as she bent over to pick the slurrily protesting Wash up in a fireman's lift to take him back to their cabin.  
  
"So," said Mal, "now we're alone, are you going to have your wicked way?"  
  
"Don't," said Jericho. "I know you don't fly well, but you know enough. Don't pretend to be any worse than you are or I'll make you do it properly." His eyes glowed white for a second. "You can go slow, I don't care, but don't think it'll give gun-boy some slim chance to help you. There's no mind out there, so he's either detached or dispatched."  
  
"Yeah well, our boy always was of the mindless variety," Mal muttered, while a tiny part of him consigned Jayne to the deep festering pit of soldiers KIA while under his command.  
  
*****  
  
Simon scowled at the door in front of him, the sharp thumps no longer startling him although the dents that slowly appeared with the force of his sister's manic attempts to get at him were just a little worrying. He was inside his scrubs locker, with River on the other side determined to break his skull open with an air cylinder for some warped reason that he couldn't quite fathom.  
  
He'd tried shouting for help but none had been forthcoming, and he was a little concerned that perhaps the crew had decided to leave him and River to each other. Which they might have done under any circumstance, but in this instance he suspected that Jericho might have had some influence in the matter.  
  
Because while Jericho had seemed like one of the many unfortunates that littered the Rim worlds, albeit with a Core accent, Simon knew by now from the muddled things his sister muttered and shouted that Jericho had been to the same academy as River.  
  
And that was a concept that Simon found really quite frightening.  
  
*****  
  
Relaxing bonelessly on the bed in Inara's shuttle, Kaylee's mind wandered everywhere and nowhere, latching on to no particular thought at all and it was nice. The Companion had to be a galactic champion at the full body massage to leave her in this state.  
  
A stray thought wandered into her mind and jumped up and down a bit until she took notice. With great willpower she turned her head and had to agree with the errant notion that it was somewhat ironic that the Shepherd was happily appreciating a thorough foot washing from the Companion, Book's expression of pure bliss easily matching Inara's as she lost herself in her work.  
  
Kaylee couldn't recall whose idea this whole pampering thing was, but whoever it was deserved a big fat cookie. With real chocolate.  
  
*****  
  
"Stop that!" Jericho shouted as Serenity bucked and slewed.  
  
"It's not me!" Mal struggled to keep his boat in the air.  
  
Jericho glowed again. "No, she's hurt," he apparently agreed. "Fix her immediately."  
  
"That would be the mechanic's job!" Mal snapped, hanging on as the joystick dragged him to the left so hard he had to use both feet to brace and bring it back to centre.  
  
"The mechanic, uh, the girl?"  
  
"Right, the one you sent off for a manicure and facial. She'll never want to get her hands dirty again now."  
  
The glow thing happened again, and Mal just knew that Kaylee would be even now heading for the engines.  
  
*****  
  
Inara really didn't think that Kaylee should get herself all mucky again so soon after she'd scrubbed the mechanic clean. Kaylee was such a pretty little thing in a natural way, and the fact that she seemed so completely unaware of it was utterly charming.  
  
But, with the way the ship was moving, Inara supposed that Serenity was calling the girl.  
  
So, with a sigh, she returned to her task of massaging sandalwood scented oil into Book's surprisingly well-defined chest. Here was a man who was wise, experienced and took care of himself, even if he was a little narrow minded at times.  
  
*****  
  
When the ship tossed and River squealed, Simon became instantly terrified that something had happened to his sister. Especially as the thumping and muttering and screaming had all stopped. Peering through the small grille cautiously, since the last time he'd gotten even close to the little slats River had tried to poke his eyes out with a scalpel, his concern magnified when he saw her crumpled at the far side of the infirmary.  
  
As the scrubs locker wasn't actually locked, it only took a little jiggling of the catch to open the door. In a couple of moments he was by River's side and checking her over, after ensuring the all potential weapons were out of her reach.  
  
She wasn't hurt, wasn't unconscious and was just staring at him. "The walls must come tumbling down," she eventually told him, becoming increasingly distressed with each word. "Kaylee has to blow the horn. And, and, Incey Wincey Jayne, we mustn't let it rain. And there's the book that can't be read and the ..."  
  
Simon wasn't even thinking - it was almost second nature to administer the sedative before River descended into full-blown hysteria.  
  
For a long time after she passed into sleep, he sat on the floor and held her cradled while he cursed those that did this to her.  
  
Enough that she had been abused for the last couple of years before they joined Serenity. But now this other abused child was twisting her as well, telling her to keep Simon prisoner.  
  
At that point Simon realised that River was keeping him as much prisoner now as she was in that locker. He recognised that Jericho touched something in River's mind that coerced her obedience, but why not his too? Why did Jericho need him out of the way? Or maybe both of them?  
  
And where were the others?  
  
Reluctantly, Simon restrained River on one of the benches before arming himself with her air cylinder and a scalpel and creeping out of the infirmary, being sure to lock it up after him.  
  
*****  
  
Trying real hard not to burst into tears, Kaylee covered her ears at the ear splitting screams of her poor tortured engines. Eyes blurring, she trusted to her instincts to tell her where the problem was, and quickly found the coolant drained dry.  
  
Something else called to her, and she found the stress lines in one of the stabilizer shafts that indicated probable vane damage. A shriek of metal, and it seemed that something was blocking an air intake.  
  
Too much to cope with, things falling apart faster than she had any hope of fixing, so Kaylee did the only thing she could to stop her engines from tearing themselves apart. She took up the lever iron and used it to crank the primary intake valve shut, effectively shutting down the engines altogether.  
  
She tried to contact the cockpit, but no one was answering so she could only trust that Wash would deal with land them all safely. Abruptly exhausted, she slid down the wall. And it hit her like a sledgehammer how wrong things were.  
  
Fuzzy memories of Inara and Book, and a ghost memory that she was sure couldn't be real of dropping Jayne out of the hatch. She had a vague recollection of Mal being at gunpoint at the time, and someone else there too.  
  
Gentle fingers on her face, and Kaylee realised that she must have dropped off or passed out or maybe still be dreaming since Simon was there, right in front of her face and looking worried. "I think I killed Jayne," she told him, because she couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
Simon frowned, looked almost sorry for a split second, sighed and said reassuringly, "I'm quite certain he probably deserved it, I've had to restrain myself at times."  
  
"No, I'm serious, I did. Dropped him out the hatch." Kaylee did feel uncertain though. "At least I think I did." Because she was sure she would have felt more squicked if she had. She wasn't as cold as Mal and Zoe and Jayne about such things.  
  
Simon narrowed his eyes. "Did Jericho tell you to do it?" he asked.  
  
"Jericho, yes." Kaylee smiled as she recalled Jericho telling her that Jayne liked to fly, that now was a good time for him to learn. And then Jericho had remarked on how hard she worked, how she really needed some downtime. It had made so much sense at the time, but now it seemed just. bizarre.  
  
Simon looked deep into her eyes and Kaylee let herself enjoy it, even though she knew he was only doing it for medical type reasons. "Is he telling you what to do now?"  
  
Slowly shaking her head, Kaylee replied, "No, I don't think so," and frowned as she thought. "I came in here and the engines screamed so loud it hurt. And it was like I woke up or something."  
  
"Noise," Simon said, letting Kaylee go and sitting back. "Blow those horns and the walls come tumbling down. I don't suppose we have a horn?" he asked hopefully.  
  
Kaylee looked at him like he was spaced, then she lit up. "Yeah we do. Kinda."  
  
*****  
  
Jayne looked tiredly at the ground rushing by and figured his best chance of survival lay in staying exactly where he was. Which was a good thing since he couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to. He'd crawled around Serenity's belly doing damage where he could, Binky earning her keep as she sliced through hosing, Boo aiming true where cylinders and pipes were too far away to get to.  
  
It had been just after he'd slid a piece of loose plating over some hole sucking in air that the engines had shut down, and Jayne was quite happy in the knowledge that she wasn't going to drag him into space without a suit. The landing thing would probably be tricky, but Wash was pretty good at that kind of stuff so maybe he'd get through it mostly intact.  
  
Of course, right now all he could do was hope. Muscles locked with strain and cold kept him on the maintenance ladder, although he was still on the cord. Skin burning hot and cold at once where the wind bit, even his whiskers felt like they'd break off he was that frozen. And then there was the numbness that was almost painful where the harness bit into hips and shoulders and he couldn't feel his hands or feet. And that was probably another good thing since he couldn't see his hands anymore through the blood and torn gloves. Or maybe he just wasn't seeing properly because his eyes were burned dry.  
  
In any case, now he thought about it, it was kinda snug and warm here on the ladder, and going to sleep seemed like real good idea.  
  
*****  
  
The sudden screech almost sent Mal's heart leaping up his throat and committing suicide out the nearest window. And even when the rogue organ settled down to a steady yammering in his chest, the noise pounding his eardrums was so loud and piercing that he could only see random bright colours dancing in front of his eyes.  
  
The silence when it came was quite literally deafening. And disorienting, everything spinning in circles until, with another major coronary imminent, Mal realised that Serenity really was spinning crazily. He jumped on the yoke, trying desperately to pull it back under control, but the boat was too far gone.  
  
"Are you trying to kill us all? Let the master through!" cried an indignant voice and with great relief Mal slid almost bonelessly from the seat to let Zoë help Wash into his place. The pilot's sure fingers danced about the joystick and console, and within a couple of seconds Serenity was flying straight. Lumpy, but straight.  
  
Wash cursed long and hard as he examined his board, flicking switches and turning knobs before demanding to know what was going on in the engine room. Zoë, who appeared to be struggling to wake herself up, hit the intercom and asked what was happening.  
  
Mal, meantime, looked over at Jericho who sat in the corner, hands pressed tightly over his ears as he rocked, keening softly and staring into nothing. Never mind that the kid now looked like nothing more than a sick little boy, he crawled to his feet, pulled some wiring from the spares locker and tied the kid up. Used a rag to gag him too before handing him to Zoë to lock up somewhere tight.  
  
*****  
  
The sound of Zoë's voice with Wash in the background, as well as Mal telling Zoë to lock Jericho up tight, had Kaylee and Simon hugging each other, dancing in each others arms in wildly exuberant joy.  
  
Kaylee tried to explain what had happened but it was clear that her over- excited jargon was making no sense to those on the bridge, so Simon explained things as he understood it.  
  
"It seems only the female of the species was affected, and all it needed was a very loud noise to break the hold that Jericho had. I believe that our brilliant young mechanic here managed to create such a noise by jury rigging some components together."  
  
Kaylee positively glowed at the compliment, and it was with regret that Simon made his apologies. He had to find River, after all, and see that she was unharmed.  
  
*****  
  
Further down the hall, Inara screamed. Book blinked, and then he screamed too. There was a long moment while he stared at her, and she stared back. They both recovered their composure, simultaneously apologising, and Book picked up his shirt while making a hasty but dignified retreat.  
  
Hurrying away from the shuttle, he regretted the fact that he had led Inara and Kaylee to believe that he too had fallen under Jericho's spell. But in doing so, he'd learned a great deal about at least two of his crewmates, and in his profession that kind of information was essential, enough that he felt that the end justified the means.  
  
*****  
  
Something else clicked with Kaylee while she tinkered with the engines, asking them to guide her hand so she could make them better. Inara, Book, and Jayne. Pushing Jayne out the hatchway. That can't have been good, she thought, and asked the engines to be good for a few minutes while she went to check on the cargo hold in the hope that it had been a dream and she'd find Jayne there.  
  
Her stomach twisted when she saw the line trapped in the hatchway, and she hurried to release the doors enough to loosen the rope so she could haul it in. Holding on to the winch control unit as she pressed the reeling button in, the shock of what she'd done crept slowly up from her toes. She didn't know what she'd believe until she saw the end of the line, and as it wound back on to its roller, so her anxiety increased.  
  
And then it stuck and she jumped. She pushed the button a couple of times, opened the hatchway a little wider, but the line was caught on something and she couldn't free it. So she hit the intercom, asked for the Captain to come down.  
  
"Um, I think I pushed Jayne out of there and now the line's stuck, and I didn't think we should wait 'til we landed to fix it because, you know, what if it's Jayne's, uh, you know, caught on something and if Serenity lands on. I mean even dead people squish and it would be right. you know.?" She trailed off uncertainly.  
  
"Yeah, I know," Mal said, not really understanding hardly a word, beyond that the line was stuck probably with the big merc's body on the end. Most likely caught in the air intake, but he wasn't going to mention that to Kaylee since she was suffering from the guilts enough. "Tell you what, you go fix the engines. I'll have Zoë help me sort things out when Wash has Serenity a bit more stable."  
  
Kaylee smiled and nodded gratefully. "But you'll tell me if there's any news, right?"  
  
"Sure," said Mal, "Sure, I'll tell you. Now git."  
  
*****  
  
It was a stupid idea, and Mal wished he hadn't thought of it, or at least that Zoë would have helped him talk himself out of it. But as neither of them had done sufficient speaking for that, he was on a secondary line hauling his ass along the first one in an attempt to free it from whatever it was caught on. Even Wash had gotten in on the act, saying that he was having problems that Kaylee couldn't define, and if that rope was caught around the landing gear then there was no way even he could land Serenity in one piece.  
  
He was quite pleased to find that he wasn't in any danger of being sucked into the engines when he found Jayne locked to the ladder. The rigid arms did not want to let go of the rungs and Mal had pulled his knife, ready to cut the body free, when he realised that the low buzzing in his ear was the big guy alive and snoring.  
  
He couldn't, however, wake Jayne up and considered using the knife anyway. Not to kill him, because that would mean getting new muscle and it was kind of a case of better the devil he knew. And besides, no one else kept up with him when it came to the hard drinking portion of living. But a little bit of pain might've woken the man up. But then again, seeing the bloody fingers and pink bits staining the grubby tank around the harness straps, Mal decided that inflicting more pain would only be self-gratifying instead of productive, so he worked hard, prying the solid limbs away.  
  
Three tugs of the rope and both lines were being pulled gently in. Mal's nose was practically falling off with the cold, but Jayne was dressed even colder and, since he wasn't complaining, Mal felt that he couldn't complain either. Of course, he wasn't unconscious like Jayne was, but that was beside the point.  
  
Simon and Kaylee were both there to help Zoë pull the pair of them inside and close the hatch. Wash had Serenity landed almost right away and Simon took charge.  
  
This was when he was at his best. Most of the time he felt so out of his depth, both in his inexperience and naiveté, but when it came to hurting bodies he was in his element. He was confident, and he took charge. Rather than struggle with Jayne to the infirmary, he ordered Kaylee to lower the ramp, and demanded that his patient be carried outside into the sheltered sunshine. With Mal still on his knees and trying to catch his breath, Zoë, Book and Kaylee half carried and half dragged the big man outside.  
  
There were times, thought Simon, that people could simply be too helpful. Having made sure that Jayne was warming up, he made to cut away the harness, but Kaylee stopped him, saying that it was the only decent harness they had. The one that Mal had worn was apparently the backup and wasn't very reliable. Peeling the webbing off hadn't been easy without the luxury of slicing it away, but luckily they got there just as Jayne started to groan his way back to consciousness.  
  
At this point Mal suggested that getting Jayne to the infirmary might be the best idea. Simon disagreed, stating that he had everything he needed right here including the warming sun.  
  
"I don't see your surgical type things here," Mal said.  
  
"But Jayne doesn't need any surgical type things doing," Simon replied. "Muscle strain, heavy bruising and broken blisters, windburn and most of all hypothermia - but nothing which requires surgery."  
  
"I'm not talking about him," Mal said, as if to a five year old. "I'm talking about me and probably little Kaylee, and very possibly anyone else who might be within range when he comes round."  
  
Simon squinted slightly, having that feeling that he was missing something that was glaringly obvious to everyone else again. So Mal obliged by explaining.  
  
"Kaylee was the one pushed him out the airlock. And I was right there with her. Stupid, I know, but we all have our moments."  
  
Simon hadn't known this, being trapped by his sister at the time, so he said, "I'm actually having more problem with why you used an unsafe harness and went out there to rescue him."  
  
"Simon!" Kaylee saved Mal from answering, which was a shame because Simon would really have liked to know that answer to that. "Jayne saved our lives!"  
  
"He did?" Simon asked, the same time as Mal did.  
  
"Well yeah," Kaylee said as if it were the most obvious thing in the 'Verse. "If he hadn't sabotaged the boat then the engines wouldn't have screamed at me, and we wouldn't have known how to stop Jericho."  
  
Mal contemplated the thought for a moment before throwing out a question. "And you know this how?"  
  
"Well, I know it was sabotage, ain't any other way to get a blocked intake with cut pull-through wiring and a sluice drainage reversal, and that's just for starters. So unless you found someone else out there, Captain, I'm reckoning Jayne did all that."  
  
Mal nodded. "And it's my estimation that our saviour wasn't doing that out of the goodness of his heart."  
  
"I think we'd better get Mister Cobb into the infirmary as quickly as possible," Simon broke in quickly. "Since he's likely to be in some discomfort when he regains consciousness, I'd hate for him to add to that in any way, therefore it's my considered opinion that five point restraints are essential. In fact, I'm almost certain I saw eight point restraints somewhere, which given the patient's muscular mass may be a better idea."  
  
Having heard enough, Mal clapped Simon on the shoulder and bent down to grab an ankle of the groaning mercenary. "I'm glad you see it my way. Now, if we all pitch in, this shouldn't be too hard."  
  
*****  
  
Some days it really didn't pay to roll out of the bunk, thought Jayne happily. Getting chucked out of the hold and freezing his tail off outside was bad enough, but waking up to see his would-be murderers standing above him while he was trussed up so he couldn't so much as spit was darn right cruel.  
  
He'd burned off the little energy he had fighting the straps and cursing in every dialect he knew before Kaylee had sort of apologised and Mal had thanked him for saving Serenity. No points for sincerity, much, but they kind of seemed to glad to see him. He thought. Maybe. It was all very confusing and he made a mental note to never ever trust even little Kaylee again. Especially when it came to dangling out the hatchway.  
  
Then Simon had doped him and everything was fine for a while. But now his hands were burning and his head aching, raw pain at shoulders and hips, skin itching while his eyes were constantly streaming and there seemed to be a few bruises that according to Kaylee were absolutely nothing to do with dropping him down the stairs.  
  
Must be the dope, thought Jayne, and grumbled to himself in the empty infirmary, preparing to bellow for Simon for some more drugs. After all, the doc had promised that he could have as much as he wanted so long as he didn't kill anyone. Seemed like a good deal to Jayne, at least while everything hurt so damned much.  
  
Simon seemed to know when he needed more though, because he didn't have to ask - the doc simply arrived and injected him and the floaty bendy thing started happening. And with Kaylee bringing in a bunch of dried flowers for him, he drifted off thinking how nice it was to have people around being thoughtful.  
  
FINIS 


End file.
